We probably should of bought a boat to float south down the River of Holding to Lake Verdigris and eventually to Midvale it would have saved us a lot of time, blood, and dignity. Dragon Heaven was infested with crazy amounts of dire animals and infinite monstrous dinosaurs. I guess dragons don’t fear foot slogging monsters much since they can just fly away if attacked or just crush face. Reminds me I need to start working out my wings if I intend to fly down to the surface. We for the most part hid in Goethe’s rope trick until threats passed, it was safer for everyone especially Kaledith, who was still badly shaken from being devoured by a Tyrannosaurus. She ordered all of us to be her meat shields if we crossed paths with more hungry predators. We all owed her money and generally felt bad she was eaten so we obeyed. It was quite humorous watching her cling to Goethe and beg him to cast his magic whenever she heard a strange noise, smelled an odor, or felt a stiff wind. So travel was slow to say the least.
We took an old ferry across the lake to Midvale. Kaledith never looked so happy leaving the dire wilderness. As we approached the city it was easy to tell we were about to enter a city unlike any on the ground below. The city looked as if it had been rebuilt numerous times by a mad architect who didn’t like straight edges. There were many crooked towers pointed in random directions, streets that didn’t seem to go anywhere, and crude dragon perches jutting out of every wall. The best thing was there were freaking dragons everywhere! Metallic wyrms of all ages and assorted lesser dragon kin made up the hustle and bustle. The petitioners were all lively, loud, and enjoying heaven to the max. My kind of town, it reminded me of the pirate port cities in the Eye, where anything could happen. Waiting at the port was an wide awake Great Hunter. He gave us a frightening thousand yard stare as we neared.
“Fuck he doesn’t look happy to see us”, I told everyone.
“He will be happy to see his treasure again”, responded Lorenz. I noticed the faintest signs of sweat around his collar.
Once we stepped on the dock, Great Hunter rose to his colossal height and bellowed, “Welcome dirty hoard thieves, let’s have a drink to get to know one another”. After we were all seated and flagons full inside the dragon sized tavern, he told a hilarious joke to break the ice about huge dragon dicks that had us all rolling in laughter,some of us more than others. We presented his stolen treasure and tried to leave. Great Hunter didn’t allow us to leave and things got pretty tense as he asserted his dominance over us. When he started bullying poor Kaledith to drink, Lorenz found the courage to stand up to him. I was pretty sure Lorenz was going to be punched through a load bearing wall, but surprisingly Aven interjected with an exceptional dirty joke to ease the tension. I didn’t quite get the punchline of the joke because it involved munthrek sex which is gross. Great Hunter was overjoyed and forgot about Kaledith. He roared in tremendous laughter. “You got style puny fish man! It has been decades since I heard a good joke. Let us drink through to sunrise in celebration of being awake in the land of the dead”.
Great Hunter challenged us to an epic drinking contest that captured the attention of the whole pub and others from the street. The first drunkard to fall was Myrrh after downing a potent elvish elixir that made him vomit violently and blast diarrhea all over himself. The crowd cheered wildly. The war between dwarf fire ale and elf absinthe raged in my belly, but I managed to kept the battle from spilling over onto the table. Aven and Great Hunter were also struggling with the same war. “I won’t lose to you, Big Copper”, was the last thing I said before taking another shot and blacking out. When I woke up some time later I heard Aven and Great Hunter tied. The last drink pushed them both past their limits and rivers of vomit flowed. I wish I could of saw it! Imagine how many buckets of punk a colossal Copper Wyrm can spew.
Great Hunter had one more surprise for us in the morning, the Deep Sea Current was docked on the other side of the city! We arrived, extremely hungover, to find a jittery but unmolested crew. “Old friend it is nice to see you again”, I telepathically greeted the ship after stepping on the gangplank. The whole ship shook, a warm greeting.
“How in the hell did you get 10 miles in the sky?”, I asked the ship. “The Golden Plaque”, Deep Sea Current gurgled. Before I could examine the mysterious golden plaque, Great Hunter ordered us to take him to his new lair on a island in the lake.
He was honest with us and said he was commanded to keep us occupied while the Elders dealt with State, Gray Scale, and pakthryxl which could take years. He then gave each of us new titles for our future roles. Goethe was assigned “Chief Wyvern Excrement Engineer”, Lorenz “Hoard Accountant”, Aven “Chief Drinking Buddy”, Myrrh “Wyvern Babysitter”, Kaledith “Head Maid”, and myself “Dock Builder”.
How long will be prisoners here?