The Pakthryxl Proxy

Contract Complete!!! Ascension
Captain's log found on bowspirt

I write this now as my crew and I are awaiting trial and likely execution by the Elder Wyrm Dragon Council for mysterious crimes we may have committed. It’s all bullshit and Slate’s fault. Not a soul has spoken to us since our capture. We are imprisoned in the deepest dungeon of the mighty Dragon Fortress City on an island floating above Azlant. This place makes the Mordant Spire look like a slum after a hurricane. It all started a week ago after we stormed the shores of Azlant with treasure on the brain. Please allow me to start at the beginning of a long and tragic story…

The conflict between the Wyverns and the Sea Drakes over the Great Hunter’s territory had tipped in the Wyvern’s favor. The bigger brains on the crew surmised Big Sting was the Wyvern king and possessed the other half of Slate’s treasure map. I was supremely confident, in my ability to track down Big Sting since he and I have dragon blood coursing through our veins. It took us three days exploring the Wyvern stomping grounds to track Big Sting. Wyvern attacks were commonplace. In the end, we prevailed in finding Big Sting’s lair after a particularly dangerous battle with Lord Sting’s royal guard. They came at us while we were scaling cliffs, I thought we were doomed, but Lorenz saved the day by summoning his awkward griffon and single-handedly defeating them in an outrageous aerial combat the likes of which will never be seen again. He effortlessly mopped them up like we never even encountered them in the first place. Lorenz the wily bastard even managed to extract the location of Big Sting’s lair from a falling Wyvern in midair. It was insane! We got to the lair in no time.

Myrrh and I crept into Big Sting’s salt encrusted lair just to get the lay of the land, I swear we didn’t make a sound, but Big Sting detected us and roared a malevolent challenge. I roared my musket right back into his nasty face to answer the challenge. It was time to see who was packing the bigger stinger! His mate emerged from the darkness ready to sting the shit out of us while the rest of my crew piled into the cave. Goethe channeled his powers, Aven swung his great sword, Myrrh aimed for organs, and I stood my ground musket barrel blazing. The kill shot shattered his scales and shredded his bones but not before Aven and I got stung, poisoned, beaten, and slammed. I was willing to spare Big Sting’s mate due to the hatch-lings so I merely grazed her and told her to flee with her babies. Aven and Myrrh had other plans and used the opportunity to try out a new tactic I like to call “stabby stabby chop chop” because the poor lady was turned to mince meat in a blink of an eye in front of her hatch-lings.
I turned to the newborns and calmly said in an even tone, “It was not our intention to do this in front of you. For that we’re sorry. But you can take our word for it, your parents had it comin’. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, We’ll be waiting”.

We were fortunate sons and found the missing map in the hatch-ling nest along with Azlanti artifacts, coinage, and a weapons cache. Aven and Goethe examined the map and declared we were in the Great Hunter’s lair. Hot-Damn we truly were fortunate sons!!!

“We did it, the dragon hoard is ours”, Aven triumphantly declared.
“I will start looking for traps”, Myrrh said pulling out his tools.
“What about the Great Wyrm? It is unlawful to take what is not ours”, Goethe questioned.
“Pirate law clearly states FINDERS KEEPERS!, I excitedly responded.
“It is written in holy triplicate that possession is nine tenths of the law, my friends”, Lorenz answered with a wide grin. Goethe relented, he was too curious about the lair to press the issue. A treasure larger than life was waiting for us.

Around the next corner we got the thrill of a lifetime, we came face to face, with a massive horn-crowned head with bright copper scales. The coppery Great Wyrm had a ridged tail and long wings but was still as a mountain. Not gonna lie we all peed a little because if the dragon woke and found us in his hoard not even Lorenz mercurial words could save us. I thought my best bet at survival would be to trip Goethe and make a run for it. Luckily I didn’t need to do that since the Great Wyrm mysteriously did not stir and peacefully slumbered. Coppers are tricky but I had doubts one would go so far as to let Wyverns settle in his den. Fuck it, before the others could stop me I gave the dragon a hard pat on the nose. I almost fainted with fear and those watching faces were paralyzed in comedic shock. Still no reaction from the dragon. “I will rouse the dragon”, I told my comrades while I pointed my musket at it’s coppery eye. Just kidding I am not so dumb to shoot a Great Wyrm in the face. We quietly backed away to gather ourselves.

We had reached the goal of the contract and a snoozing Great Wyrm was not gonna stop us now. We quickly found another wing in the cave that led into the ruins of an ancient Azlanti temple. Myrrh easily disabled every trap and opened every locked door. We had hit pay dirt like never before because behind every door was unimaginable lost treasure. The first room contained Azlanti antiques galore, the second room contained weapons of peerless quality including a set of five daggers of great beauty, and the last vault held several mysterious objects including the Dragon-hide Armor Slate was after. We all did our happy dances. We separated into two groups. Aven and I fetched Slate and Kaledith due to contractual obligation (Lorenz insisted). Goethe, Lorenz, and Myrrh documented the treasure in holy triplicate.

Big brother Slate was the happiest I had ever seen him. Kaledith was also beaming brightly. We made great haste to the hoard, during the journey Slate was not shy about using his powers to move us along. Big Bro easily removed every inconvenience blocking our path including menacing Wyverns. I thought to myself, “Why did he need us? He’s got power to spare!”. We made it to the hoard in record time and Slate wasted no time getting to the armor. He was possessed, only fixated on the armor, and didn’t give a shit about any of the other priceless treasure. Lorenz talked a mile a minute to slow Slate’s roll. Slate divulged that he wanted the armor for his self (not his benefactor) because of the one of a kind platinum scales the armor was made from.

“I never heard of a platinum dragon”, I said. “No one has”, replied Slate with a toothy smile. I don’t think we could of but we never tried to stop him since the armor was his under the terms of the contract. We all really wanted to know was Slate’s plan for the armor and kept pressing him.
“How about a demonstration?”, Slate ominously offered, “With this know that you held up your end of the bargain!”. Huh….

Slate laid the platinum dragon-hide armor before him and pulled out his magic lamp. He rubbed the lamp while uttering loudly, “Balijan! Grant me my second wish now!!!”. Tendrils of blue smoke emanated from the lamp spout and grabbed the pieces of armor whirling them high in the air. Slowly each piece of armor began fusing with Slate’s flesh, he cackled like a demon, to push through the agony of the melding. The cave walls shook, cracks of thunder echoed, and the wind howled. A blinding light flashed during the crescendo of magical energy. Once Slate’s metamorphosis was complete things calmed down. The blue smoke dissipated revealing Slate new form as a graceful Platinum Great Wyrm of extraordinary size and shimmering scales. I felt like I was going to be crushed by his overwhelming beautiful presence. Slate looked pleased as hell.

“Me next”, I cried.
Slate stopped laughing, stretched out his his wings, and roared to the heavens. Slate smiled to us and said, “I must be going now my friends. Sorry to leave you after you have given me so much but I have things to do. Know that nothing will be the same anymore”, he then disappeared leaving his last words hanging in the air, “Until we meet again my friends”.

“Me next”, I cried again desperately, the words echoed through the cave. We all dumbfounded stared at each other.
“What in the hell was that?”, a shocked Aven spoke.
“Was that good for us or bad?”, questioned a shaken Myrrh.
“Very interesting he used a wish to become one with the platinum scales”, Goethe said.
“Let’s pack up the treasure before something else happens”, commanded a nervous Lorenz. At that moment the tremors began again and loud flapping noises rolled in from the outside.
“What now?”, said a worried Kaledith.

Then we saw a man with a powerful build adored with flawless silver full plate armor enter the lair. “Everyone out!!!”, he shouted and to emphasize his point he pierced his sword a foot deep into the stone floor in a dazzling display. We all obeyed. Outside of the cave he were surrounded by monstrous Great Wyrm dragons. My emotions were in shambles I was one part awed, one part happy, and seven parts scared shitless. Goethe demanded, “What is the meaning of this?”. The Gold dragon picked him up and squeezed him unconscious and told the rest of us, “You will be judged”. She then spread her wings and took off with Goethe towards a flying island that was slowly eclipsing the sun. The other dragons each grabbed one us and did the same.

Now we await our fate. Will this be a fair trial? What are the charges? Can we escape?

Dealing with Dragons!!! Yigorin’s Confession
Captain's log found on main masthead

Myrrh had us worried for nothing, that bastard casually appeared out of nowhere on the top deck as if he had never left. He couldn’t stop yapping about the Nereid, “She is so gorgeous and trustworthy She deserves more treasure, not just Goethe’s ioun stones!”. Goethe shot a pissy glare at him and grumbled, “You are under her influence it will wear off in due time”. After questioning Myrrh for some time he finally remembered that he met the Dragon Turtle who is allied with his aquatic crush.

We sent in the negotiator to deal with the Turtle and the Nereid. The Dragon Turtle wanted copious amounts of poisonous jellyfish and the Nereid wanted Myrrh for safe passage. Sounded fair to me since Myrrh didn’t object (He may have been holding hands with the Nereid). Aven immediately formed a plan to ensnare the great lightning jelly with fishing nets and hooks. He bravely dove into the water and swiftly wrapped the jelly up tight like a rolled joint. I then butchered the trapped fish. Lorenz and Goethe worked together to create new “treasures” to present to the Nereid at a banquet in her honor on board the ship. They grabbed all sorts of crap items and painted them blue like the ocean including midnight milk, fish hooks, apples, and a battered frying pan. I wasn’t convinced we could trade a blue frying pan for Myrrh but what do I know. bluefryingpan.jpg We all dressed in our best for the banquet, Helig and Kaledith prepared a grand meal with all the fixings, Goethe and I made firecrackers, Aven caught some nice fish, and Tebrilith along with the rest of the crew sang sweet ballads. During the middle of the feast, Lorenz ceremoniously presented each “treasure’ to the Nereid along with the amazing and riveting history of each treasure. I never knew that frying pan belonged to the dissenting Korvosan Prince who founded Magnimar. The Nereid happily took the new spectacular “treasures” in exchange for Myrrh’s freedom. During the banquet, the Dragon Turtle was back stroking around the ship happily gorging on toxic jellyfish. All in all not a bad way to spend a night.

We sailed across the great lake the next morning after saying goodbyes to our new friends. The boat barely made it up the narrow tributary feeding the lake but we managed with my excellent command. From the impossibly high cliffs, several gaunt Sea Drakes swooped down and angrily shouted for Slate to show himself. Well that was certainly unexpected. Once Slate made it on deck, he casually smiled at the raging Sea Drakes. The Sea Drakes went mad calling him a liar, a coward, and insinuated that the map he gave them was a trap. Goethe pressed Slate for explanation. What in the hell have we got ourselves into? What else is Yigorin hiding? Is Big Sting going to kill us? Is the Great Hunter for real? That crap doesn’t matter because my treasure sense is tingling!!!

Navigating the Wild Line!!! Nereids are Fascinating
Captain's log found on beam

The Mayor sure took a shine to Lorenz and Myrrh because as we were departing he appointed two female undine guides to help us navigate through the maze of treacherous reefs and endless rocky islands. With our guides we winded our way through the steep cliff faces and towering crags with ease, and we didn’t stop until a collapsed stone pillar barred our way. As we prepared to move the pillar with our piton grappling cannon, two humongous Merrows popped out of the water and charged the boat. We must of fell victim to their ingenious trap and raised the ship alarm.

These ugly monsters must of stood 20ft high and weighed as much as a whale. I started uploading my musket into their faces but they did not stop. One effortlessly snatched Myrrh off the top deck and dove back into the water. The other soon was cut down by the coordinated attacks of Goethe, Lorenz, and myself. We all moved off the boat, careful of falling in the water, onto the outcropping of rocky islands to help Myrrh. Falling in to the water looked like certain death due to the monstrous lightning charged jellyfish that were swarming. The fleeing Merrow still grasping Myrhh attracted the largest lightning breathing jellyfish and it zapped them big time. I tried to finish off the Merrow for Myrrh, but my musket jammed at the wrong time. I watched helplessly than excitedly, as Myrrh deftly sliced the Merrow’s throat and jetted out of the water just in time to escape the jellyfish tentacles. He looked drowned. exhausted, burned, and clawed but he still gave me the thumbs up.

I called to Lorenz and Goethe for help but something else had their attention. I gave Myrrh the thumbs up and left him to check on the others. As I got near them, my attention was drawn to a strikingly beautiful woman in the water who was completely naked except for a tiny shawl. She beckoned to Goethe and me to follow her into the water, which we did without hesitation, and she led us to a secluded grotto. I jealously watched as she used her formidable assets to soften or stiffen up Goethe. Her charms must of cracked his shields because the old devil soon gleefully gave her the fanciest ioun stone orbiting his head. She freaking loved the bauble and snuggled up to him even closer. “I don’t have any floating stones”, I meekly called to her, “Do you want some gunpowder?”. She quickly told me to get lost since she and Goethe needed some alone time. “Lucky bastard, I am going to have to get me some floating stones!”, I thought as I swam back to the boat. A very concerned Lorenz picked me up in a rowboat, but by the time we got to Goethe he was alone and quite blue.

The undine lady scouts called us fools to be tricked by a Nereid. We searched for her but Nereids are impossible to track in the water. After giving up on our search we returned to the boat only to find Myrrh had gone missing. We couldn’t find a trace of him. Was he taken by the Nereid? Did he fall into the water and get eaten by jellyfish? Did he have to go kill somebody? Did his invisible trick malfunction? We looked like mad for him, but eventually our operation was stalled by a giant boulder blocking the entrance to a vast lake. “Crap in my Captain’s hat! Is this where the Dragon Turtle lives?”, I thought. What in the hell happened to Myrrh?

Sahuagin and Undines!!! Azlant is Inhabited?
Captain's log found on main mast

Goethe and Aven expertly explained the creatures on the shore were Sahuagin, probably a raiding party. I asked Aven if he knew any of the fish monsters. Almost all of the Sahaugin had extra limbs and tridents which made them look pretty scary. “Watch out they frenzy at the sight of blood”, Goethe academically recalled. I was more surprised by the fact Azlant was freaking inhabited! I thought the Mordant Spire Elves were going to be crawling around like cockroaches having killed everything else. The existence of Sahaugin makes me think there might be a Kobold community hidden deep in the mountains with some fine ladies!!!

We butchered the Sahuagin like lambs to the slaughter. They even had an extra 15 men hidden in the cliffs that charged in, but we still tore them limb from limb. My musket barrel was hot as dragon fire from the continuous stream of fired bullets. Goethe summoned the hounds of hell and flew above the battlefield like a vulture. Myrrh danced through the frenzied mob untouched while filleting them one after another. Aven fought under the water and hacked apart many including their leader. Lorenz…hmmm…I don’t remember what he did.

When we searched the cliffs for more enemies several undine scouts approached us and marveled at the carnage on the beach. They were friendly and took us back to their village, Nylgune, which was safely nestled among the narrow reefs. By all accounts, Nylgune, was a peaceful settlement almost completely isolated from the rest of the world. The village-folk held a triumphant parade in our honor since we coincidentally saved the village from the Sahaugin raiders. Again, I couldn’t believe so many people lived on Azlant. Were we really on Azlanti shores? Maybe those Kobold maidens do exist?

We met the mayor of Nylgune, who Lorenz and Myrrh stuck to like sucklings to a teat. I felt disgusted at the level of ass-kissing on display during the victory banquet at the palace. The mayor’s head was so swollen by Lorenz and Myrrh’s flattery, he gave them the shark-tooth necklace he wore around his neck. A just shook my head in disbelief. I may not have taken part of the noble pageantry but I kept my ears open and eyes peeled. A few things I learned, a great Dragon Turtle guards the last lake leading to the mainland, the Sea Drakes have migrated away from the shores, and Sahuagin war-bands were on the rise. Lastly, the mayor told us the Mordant Spire Elves don’t come around much to these secluded parts and have no ill-will towards his people.

Nylgune seemed like a safe place to make preparation for the expedition inland. We took the opportunity to sell treasure and buy gear. The journey ahead will be a mystery filled with danger and excitement. I can’t wait for the Dragon Turtle!

Land Ahoy!!! Azlant, The Shattered Continent
Captain's log found amidships

Myrrh, Aven, and myself caught our breath on the shining shoal while enjoying the afterglow of an epic victory. “You crazy-eyed fucking Kobold, you blew up the ship while we were still on board!”, both men exclaimed. “Well just a little”, I snickered. I turned to the smoke bubbles of the wreckage and shouted, “That’s what you get when you piss me off, holes in your goddamn boat!”. Lorenz and Goethe soon found us, they had two dejected looking munthrek females in bonds with them. Wow those two sure can parley! Winning sure felt good.

I oversaw the repairs to my boat. Lorenz and Myrrh interrogated the remaining pirates looking for good eggs. Aven and Goethe salvaged everything of use from the Never Enough including six magically cannons. Within four days we were ready to set sail for Azlant. On that last night, we held a magnificent victory banquet to offer Volla’s corpse to Goddess Besmara in explosive fashion. I was astonished Lorenz and Myrrh could convince the surviving pirates to join the party, gotta love a pirate’s loyalty. During the middle of the party, we placed Volla’s gutted body on a rowboat with lots of powder kegs, the first one to explode the wench wins. Lorenz won by cheating with a cannon. As the halfling’s bloody body was blown into itty bitty bits, a mysterious voice whispered “They will be another the Pirate King wills it”. I cheered even louder. Besmara approved of our offering and she made it rain gold coins sending the banquet into a frenzy.

We sailed off in the morning, but left the cockatrice charmer chic on the atoll, Lorenz thought she was too dangerous to keep around. We zipped through the waves without a hitch for many days until Azlant was right before our eyes. We chose the less traveled waterway through the wild forest to penetrate the continent in order to find the treasure. All was calm until it wasn’t. Our ship, the Deep Sea Current, decided to disobey my commands and attempted to attack a village of natives. The Current could not be settled due to the presence of it’s natural enemy. I thought it only fair to route the monsters on the ship’s behalf since it has done the same for us. Cruel death to the Deep Sea Current’s enemies!

Conclusion!!! The Pirate Queen’s Demise
Captain's log found in pantry

Lorenz was none too happy when he learned that he missed the parley with the False Pirate Queen and even more pissed when he learned the details. “Amateurs, I am surrounded by fucking amateurs”, he repeated under his breath when he heard each depressing detail of the parley. We worked fast to put together a daring plan to seize what little opportunity remained. Lorenz and Goethe would parley with the enemy casters at the tower, and the rest of us would assassinate the false queen after sneaking on board the Never Enough.

We hid underwater in the reefs waiting for the Never Enough to approach for a long time. I wondered how Goethe and Lorenz were keeping the enemy casters busy. Were they fighting for their lives while we were soaking in the waves? It was not my concern anymore, getting Myrrh back and the Pirate Queen dead was the focus. Once the Never Enough was in sight we gave Vilya Suul the signal to kill the wind. The Never Enough slowed and Aven expertly latched on to the hull with me in tow. While climbing up, I got a brilliant idea inspired by Tebrilith, on how to cause true havoc so I gave Aven a wink and snuck onto the cannon bay.

The munthrek females were anxiously waiting for their captain’s signal to start shelling the Shredder and Deep Sea Current to take notice of little old me. I took out an alchemist fire and tossed it at stacked pile of powder kegs. “Fire”, I heard the munthreks scream, “The powder kegs are on fire!”. I trained my musket on the the fiery kegs and pulled the trigger. The explosion was much bigger that I expected and caused a chain reaction of exploding powder kegs like popcorn. Splinters of wood and people were blown into the air, and I barely managed to keep my scales. The destructive force of the explosion almost completely blew the nose of the ship off. It was not enough!!! I wanted total destruction, I wanted revenge for my boat. I swiftly shot holes into several more powder kegs and tossed another alchemist fire. As the second explosion rocked the ship I quickly took the ladder up to the top deck. This ship was a time bomb now!

It was quite the circus on the top deck. Vaghol was being worshiped by peons. Aven was bloodied about to be attacked by a teary eyed Captain Gifford. Myrrh was flickering in and out of sight, fencing with a halfling. Plus everything was on fire. My plan had worked masterfully, I calmly aimed my musket at Gifford and blew her away. The Never Enough began submerging under the waves the bubble layer kept the sea out but the smoke in. The ship was buckling under the pressure of the water and the gunpowder explosions were tearing through it’s belly. It was time to abandon ship before the munitions bay caught fire.

Suddenly I heard Myrrh shout, “She is escaping!”. Aven locked on to Volla like a charging shark and climbed on board her escape craft much to her shock. I took a few pot shots at the queen but the distance was too great and she too crafty for any to land. All of our hopes rested on Aven, if he failed, we would lose her to the currents and she would swear revenge. Aven was covered in blood from gill to toe from hard fights, but he was still swinging his sword. I thought he was a goner when the Pirate Queen’s hand axe sank critically deep into his chest. He gurgled up a gallon of blood and clenched his teeth for one last attack, the attack met flesh and bisected the False Pirate Queen. We won!

Before the celebration to start we must find out the terms of the parley. All eyes to the tower…

Where Things Continue to Go Boom
That is How You Parley!

I have heard said that I am an exceptional negotiator. I feel that in this instance it is exceptionally true. Especially given the current state of negotiations before my involvement…

I would say by the time I have finished with this dancer and her sea priest they will have conceded to every term. I am confident we will leave with the Folly, the Shredder, and all of wealth that was brought to the table, including compensation for Hellig’s ordeal.

Yes, my natural talents working perfectly with my highly honed skills will close this chapter.

I mean yes, the fact that the pirate queen’s vessel seems to have exploded and gone under water helps my position. I swear I heard the kobolds squealing with glee right before the eruptions began.

The fact that Aven slew an individual of short stature on a swan shaped boat, that may or may not be the Pirate Queen has little to do with how well this is going. Sure, my three friends seem to be the only ones left, could indicate that the Aven, Myrrh (Kitsune), Reskafar Xurwkar, and the Rune have finished off the Pirate Queen’s entire crew… But, that does not stop negotiations.

After all a parley is parley, a deal is a deal and I am one damn exceptional negotiator.

Failed Negotiations!!! Myrrh in Trouble
Captain's log found in a rowboat

The salt pepper explosion was impressive and much more fantastic than my personal armament. It was almost beautiful, the way the fiery shrapnel lit the island vegetation on fire and pushed a mushroom cloud of smoke into the sky, except it also blazed my friends. Myrrh looked half dead, but Lorenz and Tebrilith looked like cooked death. I gave enough time for my exploded comrades to re-board before returning my attention on the Pirate Queen. By this time, Aven commandeered the Shredder and had the few remaining gunners target the Never Enough. With two ships against one, the tide of battle had turned in our favor!

The Never Enough raised the parley flag. It was time to negotiate terms of our victory; however, Lorenz’s wounds were too grievous for him to take lead. The Pirate Queen insisted on audience at a specific time and a lengthy banquet to follow. Myrrh, Aven, and I took leave of the ship to meet with the supposed Pirate Queen, but not before scouting the tower. Three lovely munthrek women arrived late to the tower introducing themselves as Captain Gifford the Pirate Queen and two high ranking officers. They began expertly preparing a very deliberate and extravagant dinner as calm as circling sharks. I watched the first mate Reyna Olyver slowly fold napkin birds and the second mate shine the cutlery. This was not how I pictured this parley playing out, their idle chatter and carefree demeanor was more than we could take, so we flinched first, second, and third.

“Enough of this bullshit, we want Volla Afalle’s head on this platter, then you wenches can sail off into the sunrise!”, I shouted in frustration. That name shattered their domestic charade and brought them crashing into the filth where I dwell.

“How did you come by that name, Kobold?”, Captain Gifford mumbled through her clenched teeth obviously shocked.

Feeling I had the upper-hand, I righteously spouted, “The Pirate Goddess Besmara told us that name. We are her servants and the she wants Volla dead. Now go fetch her head for us, the tide is going out”. As soon as the word “tide” rolled off my tongue it all clicked like the inner workings of my musket.

Captain Gifford saw the wave of realization about the tide in our faces and pressed her boot to our throats, “Your ship will be stranded as soon as the tide leaves and you will be at the mercy of my twenty cannons. Since your mouths spew only venom, I declare this parley over!”

Myrrh quickly stepped in, “Let us not be hasty, I am sure we can come to an accords”. His hand slowly, almost invisibly, reaching into his cloak.

“Hand over 1,000 gold per crew member to continue this parley. Take it or die with the tide”, commanded the supposed Pirate Queen.

“Very well", Myrrh replied not missing a beat, “We will need to go back to our ship to to collect that much treasure”. His hand disappeared farther into his cloak. I anticipated Myrrh to strike her dead at any moment with his hidden weapons.

“As a sign of trust, let us swap crew-mates. Who among you will put his life in your companions hands and come aboard the Never Enough with me? I will send Reyna to your ship to collect the gold.”, declared the munthrek.

Myrrh smiled, removed his hand from his cloak, and with a slight bow answered, “Take me”. Aven and I were about to lose our shit until we noticed Myrrh flicker a wink to us that seemed to say “I got this”.

I have no idea what is about to happen, but I will not underestimate these pirate bitches again. I have faith Myrrh will provide an opening for us before it is too late.

It’s a Trap!!! Rendezvous with the Pirate Queen
Captain's log found near aftcastle.

Our spirits were at an all time high after ransacking the Voshgurvaghol temple and defeating the twisted shoggoth. Goethe later informed me it was not a full grown Shoggoth just a tadpole. After my soul got trapped in a gem, my crew was able to roast the tadpole shoggoth and remove all four blue soul trapping sapphires. Again I was thankful to be alive enough to enjoy the celebration. The treasure got even spicier when Goethe determined two of the gems have Aboleth Veiled Master trapped inside them. I think we should free them and have them join our crew!

We reset course for Azlant and along the way we picked up four munthrek pirates hours away from dying of thirst and exposure. We found out they were stranded by the False Pirate Queen for being too weak. That bitch is close! We invited them aboard to man the cannons and relay information about the Pirate Queen. The coral island, Caster’s Atoll, seemed like a good place to look for her.

Approaching Caster’s Atoll we saw a Pirate Queen ship, the Shredder, anchored. Blatz did some invisible scouting and found ~40 crew manning lots of siege weapons. We decided to sneak attack the Shredder at dusk to weaken the Pirate Queen’s forces. It was tricky navigating the treacherous coral reefs while Goethe disguised the ship with illusions but we managed to surprise the unaware pirates and decimate their ranks. Victory was almost within our grasp.

Then the unthinkable happened. The Deep Sea Current took a heavy bombardment of cannon fire on it’s keel. We had sailed right into a trap! The Pirate Queen’s ship the Never Enough can also sail underwater and was positioned directly below us firing cannons like mad. The next phase of her trap involved a pyre being lit on a small island at the center of the harbor, Tebrilith was about to be burned to death. Lorenz immediately summoned a griffon and soared to the pyre trying to be a big goddamned hero. The Deep Sea Current took evasive actions away from the Never Enough but ended up in the firing lane of the Shredder. The Shredder living up to it’s name tore my sails to pieces. Not wanting to be dead in the water I activated my own ship’s underwater sailing gem and headed for the pyre. I caught a glimpse of a long fuse being lit near the pyre right before I dove the ship. A frantic thought came to mind, “Vestin is going to have his hands full if that fuse leads to a powder keg!”.

The Horrendous Experiment!!! Voshgurvaghol
Captain's log found near latrine.

My crew just keeps growing which I like. Recently added the best navigator around, Vaghol, a living rune created by a really famous lady, the Goddess Besmara. Vaghol may have tricked us into freeing him and forced his way on to the crew but he can read a map faster than I can load my musket. I fear Vaghol time with us will be short since he will have to be returned to the Goddess Besmara. I wonder how Vaghol will take that news? Lorenz knows the details so that is good enough for me.

The Kelpies Wrath kept it’s promise and took Captain Balta’s jeik and gave us a jewel that allows my ship to sail underwater like a freaking manta ray. My ship is amazing and I soon expect to find a way to make it sail through the clouds! Do we really have to give it back?

Vaghol the keen map reader pointed out the location of Voshgurvaghol, the lost Aboleth city, from the charts we stole from the Mordant Spire Elves. With great hesitation and consternation, I agreed to explore the sunken city. If any of the legends are true surrounding the Aboleth than we shouldn’t be waking the dead, but the promise of treasure outweighs all earthly fears. The best part was when I got to sail the Deep Sea Current under the waves right to the entrance of an ancient ziggurat as tall as two mountains. Ten of my village on Raptor Island could have fit into this one sunken temple. We gained entrance at the base of the pyramid by following skum tracks. We met Glubbex Gulpoth the forge’s tour guide, killed all the skum slaves, and I got to shoot the ooze out of a ooze monster. Thank God we made a few preparations for once!

From the bottom of the temple there was nowhere to go but up to the apex. As we explored it soon became clear that this temple’s purpose was to house the twisted flesh experiments of the mythic Aboleth. Jars of eyeballs, noses, ears, and mouths were found in every room. As we ascended the temple, the jars of organs we found in each successive room got bigger and bigger. Goethe had a hard-on thinking we found the birthplace of the shoggoth. I didn’t understand what he meant until later, I just wanted to reach the top and steal the blue sapphires the size of dragon eggs then hightail it. At the apex we found the largest containment pool with four blue soul stealing sapphires surrounding it. Myrrh did his thing and we quickly stole the closest gem. Easy as pulling the trigger!

Then we heard it. A few bubbles from the pool then a few more. We disturbed something big and I bet it had more than one eye and one mouth. Goethe screamed, “The Shoggoth is coming!”. I braced up waiting for the flesh monster to appear from the pool. The humongous creature crashed its way through the surface of the pool like a breaking wave and let out an endless shriek of gibbering madness. I could not seal the babbling from my mind and lost my grip on reality. When my senses finally returned my comrades were in dire straits: Aven was barely standing, Myrrh was nowhere to be found, Goethe was flailing around blindly, and Vestin was panicking. I unleashed a salvo of bullets that blew away much of the monsters backside causing the ooze to wheel and charge me. I struggled mightily against the attacks of the monstrous ooze but I was soon swallowed whole and seconds away from death. Then came nothing. The next thing I knew I was on the deck of my ship covered in black ichor reeking of burnt eyes and mouths.

I am thankful to be alive and owe my crew a life debt. Maybe munthrek can be trusted a little?


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