There I was lying in a dung cart, skinned alive, marinating in my own salty blood, being carted off by two strangers, and I couldn’t help but smile wide. Ezgar was eliminated! He was roadkill on the side of the highway to our final destination. It’s always good to give yourself a pat on the back, even when that pat lands on your bleeding subcutaneous tissue. The dung cart carrying me was swift almost like it had magical properties to make it go fast and the munthreks driving administered first aid. This was the Dung Guild’s secret emergency recovery team!
I got to say Katapesh City’s Street Sweeper and Dung guild is a world class organization filled with the most generous Shitheads. Those munthreks really do take care of their own even if it has been less than a day. I got patched up and re-scaled in no time flat. As thanks, I gave the guild leaders some Presto oozes and promised to make them famous. As it was, the Presto oozes were what they were angling for since they somehow learned that the disinfectant oozes can split once high enough on quality pesh. The pesh can also grant them other special qualities depending on the potency . I agreed to something business-y, but I don’t quite remember the details. As a parting gift, the Dung master presented me their most prestigious medal the “Golden Shovel Broom” and the honorary title of Shuiblith Sonear!
Shuiblith Sonear. I like the sound of that. A proper pirate name! I will wield that title to strike fear into the asses of my foes like a double barrelled shotgun from thirty feet. My enemies will flee in terror from the Shuilblith Sonear with holes in their asses!
I was escorted back to the Deep Sea Current by my guildies in the single hours of the morning and I hit my rack. Before breakfast, Myrrh fetched a fully recovered Lorenz from the Red Mistress. I giggled at Lorenz’s sorry state, he was encrusted in dried vomit, smeared with still wet diarrhea, and smelled of elderberries. And I’m called the Shuiblith Sonear! After Lorenz took a three hour long milk bath, he was itching to see Gilex for some payback. For some reason, he thought Gilex was responsible for his embarrassment. Sounded like fun!
Unfortunately, Gilex’s wasn’t at his ship, The Prophet’s Coffer, when we arrived. That may not be entirely true, pieces of him may have been amongst the carnage we discovered. All of his black jacket bodyguards, personal attendants, and slaves were slaughtered like sick cattle. Mr. Finn got riled up after examining the mysterious streaks of slime found all over the corpses. He tracked the mysterious slime to the topdeck and jumped into the sea. He was intensely obsessed. In a corner of the carnage cabin, the Aboleth skull was shattered and a sapphire was missing. It appeared Gilex was a bigger fool than me to play with such dangerous artifacts. Oh well! I took it upon myself to take a few things to remember poor Gilex by like weapons, jewels, and silverware. Lorenz reported that a night watchman from another ship saw a man dressed in the finest white dive into the sea in the middle of the night. The man never came up. So there might be hope for Gilex afterall!
After lunch, we paid the 216,000 gold for our prize, the Sun Elixir. Just knowing Ezgar didn’t have it was enough. Thinking about what to do with it was provocative: keep it, sell it, or drink it. Each path has extraordinary possibilities and consequences. We decided tucking it away for a rainy day was the best option. Call it a trump card, in case things get messy!
Lorenz was in rare form. I think he felt like he let us down at the Nightstalls by getting poisoned. Nonsense. But I do wonder what would’ve happened if was there. Lorenz spoke so elegantly and shrewdly to the Pactbroker Sayid, I didn’t know what was going on, except it was some next level negotiation. Lorenz might of bribed him, sold him something, or threatened him. Maybe all three. I don’t know. In the end, Lorenz arranged for us to be couriers on behalf of the Pactmasters and we were charged with returning Dartakithquent’s 215,000 gold writ to him in Absalom. Lorenz even got his hands on a shiny looking black card that he said could open invisible doors in invisible places. Like I said in rare form.
For better or worse we left our mark in Katapesh so it was time to get the heck out. After Mr . Finn investigated some minor ship damage below the water line, we shoved off for Absalom the proclaimed City at the Center of the World. We had Dartakithquent’s writ, Ezgar’s skin maps, and Infernal line rumors to fuel us. I felt like the next leg of the journey is going to bring us closer to the truth. Probably hell too. We can’t run away now, we’re all in after killing Ezgar. Besides, if Apsu’s heroes run away who is left to struggle.
My mind burned with thoughts of the adventure ahead of us. Goethe sensed it too and offered, “Did you know that one can become a god in Absalom?” I couldn’t help but smile wide again.