The Pakthryxl Proxy

The Domain of Endless Destruction!!! Taunted by a God!!!

Captain’s log found on the dodger

Brittlehope was a total sadsack. I have never come across a more severely depressed self loathing S.O.B. in my span. Devils are without a doubt the best at being morose and whiny, but Brittlehope made sulking a freaking artform. I dare say his downer outlook could bring down a room faster than a bigoted misogynist with a punchable orange face and thin butthole lips. Brittlehope easily trumped the rudest rabble rouser and darkest doomsayer with his dour demeanor. So of course, I invited him to join the crew without a second thought. He responded that he would ally with us until he could feast on our melted flesh. More convincing was needed.

To Brittlehope’s credit he knew the way around the Adamantine Morass. His ice wall building skills were good at keeping the acidic elementals out like they were illegal immigrants. He also was one bad hombre when it was time to throw down. We progressed through many acid flooded tunnels with a slow ease thanks to Goethe’s life bubble magic. At every turn Brittlehope was certain that someone was going to die horrifically. He’d say, “We’re all going to die in a sea of misery” or “No one has ever escaped alive” whenever things got a bit hairy. Despite his annoying predictions, we arduously made it to the end of the venomous maze, a magnificent 60 feet tall waterfall of concentrated caustic acid. The legendary Well of Venom which could dissolve powerful artifacts in two snaps and flesh in one. Did I mention the life bubble was awesome?!

At the basin of the sulfuric plunge was a cave filled with treasure and a dead dragon thingy. I say thingy because it resembled no dragon I have ever seen. The dead thing spoke to us, “To think that tarnishing the platinums would beget their reign of destruction upon all dragonkind eons later!”

What the hell? Was Dahak communicating with us? We were in his hunting grounds after all. Very interesting! I tried talking to it, but dead dragon thing didn’t speak again. Goethe did some wizardry to remove some dangerous death magic and we looted the treasure. Next, we climbed up the eroded rock to the mouth of acid spout like the itsy bitsy spider. Myrrh was almost washed away but he’s got tough fur. We eventually wallowed our way to the next level of the hunting grounds, the Lair of Endless Destruction. Brittlehope warned, “Dahak’s petitioners are going to tear us apart!”

We heard the chorus upon entering.

“See how my cowardly thyxl slithers from his realm to fashion champions – all to annihilate my cursed platinums!”

“It is the work of a maestro – a masterpiece! The ruin of both dragons AND the pathetic legacy of Dariiv’Ux who tore my fang!”

“By all means, do the work of Apsu and do it well. Or, ally with grays. It matters not, for I am Endless Destruction.”

Then a trio of anti-magic flesh monsters attacked us with reckless abandon. Unfortunately for them, meat doesn’t scare me, so I blew two away with glee. The others dropped the other meat man. It seemed Dahak was in a playful mood. Good thing we’re always game. I can’t wait to see what else he has planned for us!

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